Towards a New Frontier

还是她对我最好。她，不会因为我的出现而离开。她，不会聊到一半突然不见，说走就走。

曾经有一段感情在我面前擦肩而过，但我却没好好珍惜。如今后悔已来不及了。

我，唯有：期待………

曾经问过自己，如果有一天，我看到自己心爱的人终于结婚了，但对象却不是我，我会有什么感想。当时我只是随便想想，根本没有认真去思考。如今，我知道了。原来那种感觉是如此难受；有如千把刀一起插入心里，很痛、很痛。很痛！！！！我的心里从此不能再平静下来。人家已经嫁了人。人家已经跑到台湾生活。我已不能像以前那样，暗中抱着希望，希望有天我还是能够和她一起。那个让我一直坚强的希望，始终破灭了。

从大一到现在，已经过了差不多七年。但她在我心里，仍然是那么重要。之前看了“结婚大作战”，真的好羡慕男主角，最后还是能够改变命运。如果让我有第二个机会，我会改变我三年前决定回来的选择吗？那其实是我有生以来最难决定的事情。不是父母，就是情人。我只能选择一个。我不后悔我的决定，但为什么却有那么多遗憾？？？？？？我等了她那么多年，为什么到最后我还是不能如愿？？？？？？为什么让我如此难以忘记、那么爱的人，却又不是我的另一半？？为什么？？为什么？？？？？？？？？？？？

如今，我唯一能够做的，就只有把大门关上。门不再打开；我永远留在黑暗中，独自忍受孤独的滋味。

Today, something terrible happened. My little dog had been suffering with a big lump on her back left leg for quite some time already. Previously we asked a vet to come, but he could not cure her. His injection only make the lump bigger.

Today, another vet came. He diagnosed her to have bone cancer. There was nothing can be done already. To lessen her suffering, the vet suggested to “put her to sleep”. My mum agreed.

After I came back and knew this fact. I was thunderous! I just could not believe it at first. But as my mum was telling me the news, I sensed her in crying voice. I knew it was true. I wanted to scold her at first for letting her go like that. But I knew I just couldn’t blame her. I knew she loved her also. I knew she wouldn’t want it like that also.

I went back into my room to cry. I wouldn’t want to worsen my mum’s already saddened heart.

Even though it’s just a few hours passed, I missed Chappi a lot….. My heart sores like there’s no tomorrow.

Every year, on the 17th of July, I declare it as my personal holiday. A day of remembrance for my cute and pretty little Chappi. Thank you for coming into my life.

I had watched you grow from first day of your birth. From such a little pup to a big (and a little fat) pretty dog. You played with me, you bullied me (and I also bullied you sometimes), you listened to my rants and you cheered me up always. I love to pat you by the head and laughed at you when you were always scared by the stupid washing machine. I still remember how much you were frightened during Chinese New Year when fire crackers were all around and I had to go to the back to comfort you. I still remember when you were a pup, you got fever and my mum had to feed you with that awful antibiotic. I still remember how disgusting it was the dead mouse that you so proudly showed us after you killed it. I still remember you so clearly in my heart and you will stay that way. Sorry that I had not tell you how much I loved you even until today.. And now I have no more chance..

Although you were just a pet, but somehow, you are much much important to me than many many other human beings in my life.

I now announce: 17 July 2008, the day an important character left me and may God bless you always….

Was pretty occupied recently, watching the J-Drama “Proposal Daisakusen”. It’s about:

show

I don’t really watch J-Drama. I got to know about this one from my local TV which is airing it. I loved the plot and continued to watch. After watching, I am certain this is the most touching drama I had ever even watched. Tears would flow out from my eyes through out every episode. The main actor and actress have this chemistry between them. They are very matched. Even the theme song seems to match the drama a lot. Not that I like the cowardly self the main actor was, but I appreciate the effort he eventually put in to correct the mistakes that he did. The way he tried so hard to win back the girl’s heart made me feel ashamed.

show

P/s: A pretty emotional post. Perhaps I will write a better review in the future..

最近发现我越来越不需要朋友，因为我自己凡事应该能独立。等到有需要别人时，再找他们也不迟。相信别人和我交朋友也是如此吧，有事钟无艳，无事夏迎春。当我没利用价值时，根本看不见我的存在。现在凡事自己搞定：一个人跑街、一个人看戏、一个人跑车，还蛮有趣的，也不必看人家颜色。一切的人生阻碍使我变得更坚强

回想当初实行十不做，里面有条是：不帮人。哈哈，也不明白当时如何能够想到如此杰作。人家不帮你，你也不必帮人。理所当然。是时候再度施行十不做吧。无情无义；身心平静。

很快又一年了。又是她的生日。今年她过得怎么样呢？开心吗？好吗？虽然已不能和她庆祝，我还清楚记得，曾经当过幸福王子的滋味。

P/S: 大家庭II系列真实故事即将出炉，敬请等待！XD